March Blues

After our vacation, we have not done much. It feels like it has rained constantly. However, there haven’t been too many rainy mornings which is nice for our walks. And I can tell that this weather/long winter is getting to me. I have the desire to sleep in till the latest minute possible, that will allow me to still get the dogs on a walk and for me to get to work on time.. or a few minutes late (oops). I started the term March Blues..  As well as the weather bothering me, I am starting to get nervous if I made the rigth decision with school. Sometimes  the program does things that just leave me thinking wtf. I am not in love with my current employment position. And have had some rough bumps trying to find something new. I want to get out and explore the NW but it is hard working Saturday,even though its until 2, it still takes a lot out of me mentally. And of course traveling you need money. I got offered a position at the skamania lodge serving. This is where we first stayed when we got out to Washington. But I'd have to work Saturdays and that will be Matt's only day off for 5 months, so in the name of love,  I said no.. So now, I'm keeping my ears and eyes peeled for something, anything, that I will enjoy.




Anyways..
My mom’s work held a benefit in her honor. I could tell that she was genuinely appreciative of everyone. People donated, help put it together, brought stuff, made stuff and purchased stuff, hung out, and showed support by buying “Tari’s Team” bandanas. She has been one tough lady. Working while having chemo and when I talk to her, keeping a great outlook and attitude for the most part. Of course I’m sure she is hiding some things from me to make it easier being far away, but I know that my family will let me know if something comes up. She says that people at work wear bandanas to show their support and now since she’s got her wig all cleaned up they are even wearing wigs. Cool huh?


Of course being 1716 miles away (yes, I googled the addresses for the exact number) I’m not on the front lines of my moms battle with lymphoma. So when I saw her in her bandana reality set in. To me in my mind, she still looked the same, but when I talked to her every other Friday she was at the hospital and when I talked to her on my lunch, she was a little less spunky but getting by. But when I saw that picture – it became real. I wish I could be there for her. And now I wish I could be there for the rest of my family. It has to be taking its course with everyone. My dad, brother and sister in law etc. So much changed in such a little amount of time for them and us and I want to be apart of the loop even 1716 miles.




Knowing that my mom’s coworkers and friends are supportive is awesome. But what Is even more amazing are my generous and supportive friends. I came home a few days after the benefit and had 2 pieces of mail -bandanas for the dogs and myself from my mom, and a letter from Clara. Enclosed in the letter from Clara was a check. My friends had pooled their money together to help me with a plane ticket home to see my mom. I couldn’t believe it! I couldn’t even get the words out to say thank you without crying. And a few of these girls I haven’t seen to or talked to in forever. I couldn’t even tell you the last time, it had been so long. I was soo touched. It was one of the most unselfish things they could have done. My friends have their own families, lives, new babies, weddings, student loans and houses to pay for, and they still can find it in their heart to give. One of them even commented that that shouldn’t even be an issue. She was so excited to help me to see my mom. I am hoping I can find a cheap ticket sometime in June. We will see and I want to see Amy, Clara, Dani, Lindsay, Mandy, Michelle, Pam and Jon too! THANK YOU! You are the best. My heart still gets all warm fuzzy thinking about what amazing friends I have.